فرح هاشم: December 2011

When will it ever stop?

Bullying is when a person is picked on over and over again by an individual or group with more power, either in terms of physical strength or social standing. Two of the main reasons people are bullied are because of appearance and social status. Bullies pick on the people they think don't fit in, maybe because of how they look, how they act (for example, kids who are shy and withdrawn), their race or religion, or because the bullies think their target may be gay or lesbian.

Bullying is aggressive behavior that is intended to harm, usually takes place repeatedly, and involves an imbalance of power. Bullying takes three basic forms verbal teasing and name calling (online, texting, or face to face) spreading rumors, excluding people on purpose, breaking up friendships (online, texting, or face to face) physical: hitting, shoving, and spitting.

Bullying has made a huge impact on people’s lives. Bullies bully sometimes because of racial difference, skin color, religion, or even about the way someone looks, but everyone should be treated the same. Bullying makes people feel bad about themselves. It has even made students not want to come to school so they don’t have to deal with bullying. Some others even killed themselves. Bullying has become a really big issue around the world.

Every day thousands of teens wake up afraid to go to school. Bullying is a problem that affects millions of students, and it has everyone worried, not just the kids on its receiving end. Yet because parents, teachers, and other adults don't always see it, they may not understand how extreme bullying can get.

Some bullies attack their targets physically, which can mean anything from shoving or tripping to punching or hitting, or even sexual assault. Others use psychological control or verbal insults to put themselves in charge. For example, people in popular groups or cliques often bully people they categorize as different by excluding them or gossiping about them (psychological bullying). They may also taunt or tease their targets (verbal bullying). Verbal bullying can also involve sending cruel instant or email messages or even posting insults about a person on a website — practices that are known as cyber bullying.

As you can see bullying had made a huge impact. 160,000 kids stay home from school every day to avoid bullying. Students deserve to feel safe at school. But when they experience bullying, these types of effects can last long into their future. Bullying must stop because it causes many problems such as low sell esteem and violence.

Battling Bullying Swift’s revelation that she had been bullied and her hit songs means which is a kind of anti-bullying anthem is part of a nationwide move toward recognizing and combating buying. Other celebrities, including actress Jessica Alba and Pop Icon Justin Timberlake, have also come forward with stories. Even the White House is getting involved. President Barack Obama held a conference on bullying, also Obama called on adults to take bullying seriously. Bullying can cause lasting harm, says Susan Swearer, associate professor of psychology at the University of Nebraska.

As a result, bullying is a topic much on the nation’s mind these days with both President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama addressing the topic nationally; and anti-bullying legislation being proposed in New Jersey and Pennsylvania.

On Tuesday, the Josephson Institute of Ethics in Los Angeles released the results of a new study indicating half of all high school students admit they bullied someone in the past year, and nearly half — 47 percent — say they were bullied, teased, or taunted in a way that seriously upset them in the past year.

Now, a teen suicide in the Greater Pottstown area’s own backyard has brought that painful conversation here. After 17 year-old Boyertown Area High School junior Jesse Buchsbaum was found hanged in his Gilbertsville home Monday; his parents have said they suspect bullying could have been a factor in their son’s death.

What should you do if you’re bullied? Nobody deserves to be bullied, “says Julie Herzog, director of PACER’s National Bullying Prevention center in Minnesota. “If you are being bullied, reach out to an adult for help.”

Who is the right adult? Every bullying situation is different, in fact, recent study of middle school students conducted by researchers at the University of California-Davis found that money bullies are kids who are reasonably popular but they want to become more popular. They bully to try to impress others.

What makes a bully?

“Bullying can happen in a number of ways. Some kids who tend to be bullies are usually your more dominant personalities,” said Michelle Herrigel, Psy.D., clinical director at the Devereaux Pocono Center in Newfoundland, and a psychotherapist who treats adolescents and adults.

When you witness bullying are you aware of the seriousness in verbal abuse? bullying at its best! Sometimes hurtful words can cause more pain than physical abuse and In this case it can lead to suicide! Nowadays bullying can happen anywhere and because the internet is becoming a main source of communication it is also becoming a main cause of bullying! “Many will view violence in a positive light,” said Herrigel, who writes the “Counseling Corner” blog on the Town Square site at pottsmerc.com, The Mercury’s website.

“But others may be pressured into it, like if you have a group of kids on a bus who are bullying someone, their choices may be stand up for the child, and possibly become the target for bullying themselves, or join in,” Herrigel said.

“Bullies tend to be more impulsive, more easily frustrated,” she said, noting that “the victims tend to be quieter, more socially isolated.”

“All kids are trying to be accepted and to get what they want and if bullying someone works, and they get away with it, they’ll do it again and then it becomes a pattern of behavior,” said Herrigel.

“And it is a highly reinforced behavior when all your peers are laughing or cheering you on,” she said. At the same time, “it leaves the victim lonely, humiliated and with very low self-esteem.”

“We don’t call it bullying, we call it harassment and we make sure everyone knows that harassment is against the law,” Rodriguez said. If anyone is being a victim of bullying please know there is help! Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem! And remember “10 years from now it won’t matter the shoes you wore or the friends you had what will matter is the person you become!”